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I am a General Film Photographer
bwana-dik
28/Male/Unknown
Why I Am Here
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Last Visit: 6 weeks ago
Bwana Dik
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Personal Zone
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This is the place where you can personalize your profile!
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"Why," you ask? Because we want profile pages to have freedom of customization, but also to have some consistency. This way, when anyone visits a deviant, they know they can always find the art in the top left, and personal info in the top right.
Don't forget, restraints can bring out the creativity in you!
Now go forth and astound us all with your devious profiles!
What a starnge reaction this is...I feel joy in my heart and such intense pain at the same time. I know why this is over, I know it without a doubt. Is this why so many breakups are hideous and hateful with people? Do they not get these same epiphanies that I have gotten? I KNOW!
I know that she does not love me. This sounds like it would make it harder, but it doesn't. It eases me into this new person I will become because I know for a fact that I won't make the same mistakes again; I won't be that person that drover her away anymore. I have changed and I will continue to change.
The pain comes form my knowing that the things that I did caused her to lose this love for me. She was driven away by my anger and hurtfulness, the cruel things I used to say to her out of ignorance and pain. I am listening to that god damn Thom Yorke song again and I am crying like I swore I wouldn't anymore. This si too important to pass up, so i will plow on, even though I can't see my keyboard anymore. God, I felt so good for 2 days, now this.
She is in the other bedroom right now, hearing this song and sobering up. I want her to stay and I want her to leave. I want her to stay away and I want her to come in here and see me crying. I want so fucking much it kills me. I know that I can't have any of it except for the healing that comes from learning from your mistakes. I am coachable. Always have been. I hope this coaching sticks in my brain liek my old body prevented the baseball swing from sticking.
Oh my god how I have fucked things up. Oh my god I have done this to myself. On the off chance you are reading this I hope to God you never feel these things. God how I hope you can learn from your mistakes as tehy happen instead of learning them after they bring the punishment banquet for you. Eat this course, it is loss. Try this one, it is knowledge that you could have done things differently. And the desert.
The desert is knowing that knowing all of that is worthless because it is too late.
There is beauty in this. Pain can be beauty too. Learning is beautiful. Oh my god how I love her and want her back.
Have you ever had a dream, that you were so sure was real? What if you were unable to wake from that dream? How would you know the difference between the dream world and the real world?
What you know you can't explain, but you feel it. You've felt it your entire deviant life, that there's something wrong with the story. You don't know what it is, but it's there, like a splinter in your mind, driving you mad.
You take the blue pill, the story ends. Your browser closes and you believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill, you stay in wonderland. And, I show you how deep the rabbit hole goes.
No problem with the comment mang, (though i'm not sure if the thank you was sarcasm or not)
It doesn't matter though.
I know where you're coming from.
I wasn't meaning to be a jerk.
I try to stay out of it all as much as i can.
That first guy's comment ruffled my feathers a bit. But so does alot of ultra left one-sided rhetoric (not quite as bad as the ultra-right or i should say... ultra-selfish/greedy/money hungry rhetoric).
I'm pretty political... I used to run a little political action group down here in Dallas. I just don't agree with the GOP or the Democratic platform. The libertarian seems to be the most ideal to me, though with the current level of irresponsibility inherent in humankind, it would be a disaster. It's definately something to work toward. I like some of the core values of the greens, but their platform allows for too much of an opportunity to be on the authoritarian end of the spectrum. Even though it seems like that's the way we are already going...
Such Beauty in What I Feel
woilkasoerij?
kwajelkaiowj; ljsdfo;ijew
YIPPPEEEEE!!! whoo!
hi.
What you know you can't explain, but you feel it. You've felt it your entire deviant life, that there's something wrong with the story. You don't know what it is, but it's there, like a splinter in your mind, driving you mad.
You take the blue pill, the story ends. Your browser closes and you believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill, you stay in wonderland. And, I show you how deep the rabbit hole goes.
I offer only the truth, nothing more.
Take: The Red Pill
Take: The Blue Pill
--
The Angry Deviant
Random Deviant
--
Ill kill You
It doesn't matter though.
I know where you're coming from.
I wasn't meaning to be a jerk.
I try to stay out of it all as much as i can.
That first guy's comment ruffled my feathers a bit. But so does alot of ultra left one-sided rhetoric (not quite as bad as the ultra-right or i should say... ultra-selfish/greedy/money hungry rhetoric).
I'm pretty political... I used to run a little political action group down here in Dallas. I just don't agree with the GOP or the Democratic platform. The libertarian seems to be the most ideal to me, though with the current level of irresponsibility inherent in humankind, it would be a disaster. It's definately something to work toward. I like some of the core values of the greens, but their platform allows for too much of an opportunity to be on the authoritarian end of the spectrum. Even though it seems like that's the way we are already going...
Good luck with it.
--
"what in me is dark, illumine" -Milton
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